Newsrevue, May & June 2015

 

“Royal Baby One More Time”

to the music of "Baby one more time" by Britney Spears

 

By Richard Woolford

 

 

New baby, baby

New royal baby

Oh Charlotte baby

We've just let the world all know

That you have arrived yeah

Oh Charlotte baby

For months and months you grew

Into 8 pounds and 3 ounces

Fuck me, look what you did to me (looks at her body)

 

I’ll tell you baby

 

'Cause you need to know now what you’ve done

 

[CHORUS 1:]

Morning sickness was killing me, and our

Toilets a mess, I puked and heaved

Was in the loo all of the time

Constantly taste bile

Royal baby one more time

 

Oh Charlotte baby

Taxpayers will pay for you

As we’re unemployed yeah

Oh Charlotte baby

You dribble and stink of poo

Just like Great Grandad Philip

You’re hairy, got much more than Daddy

We called you Charlie

'Cause you got ears here like Prince Charles (reveal baby’s ears)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His royal highness impregnated me, with this

With this Princess, she never sleeps

Got red raw nipples, she cries all the time

Apart from that I’m fine (mad face)

Royal baby one more time

 

New baby, baby

New baby, baby

Ah, yeah, yeah

New baby, baby

We’ve let the world all know

Oh royal baby

They’ll watch you grow and grow

But I must confess, my downstairs is a mess (points to groin)

It’s killing me now

Oh like you won’t believe

It hurts all the time

No more sexy time

Royal baby one more time

 

[Repeat CHORUS 1:]

Morning sickness was killing me and our

Toilets a mess, I puked and heaved

I was in the loo all of the time

And now I’ve got piles

Royal baby one more time